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Life does not always give us what we are expecting and can bring many challenges that make us question our ability to handle the pain. When Debbie’s oldest son, Alex, was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at age seventeen after being hospitalized for nearly a month and then became addicted to drugs and alcohol, she wasn’t prepared for how to deal with what she would be up against over the next nine years and the fear, anxiety, and grief she would experience. read more

Have you ever wondered why some people’s relationships seem to be extraordinary and others seem to be strained? Is there a secret that you are not aware of to creating a high quality relationship?

Start by asking yourself how much of yourself you are sharing in your relationship. Sharing yourself can help build an extraordinary relationship.

Ask yourself where your focus is. Do you focus on sharing yourself or do you focus on what you are getting?

When you focus on what you are getting, you tend to “keep score”…I did abc and my partner did xyz. Keeping score is basically giving to get. Consciously or subconsciously doing something because you want something in return. This will feel like manipulation and will not lead to a high quality relationship.

Instead, view your relationship as a place where you go to give, not get. We all have six human needs that we are driven to meet. Focus on helping your partner meet their needs.

In order to focus on giving your partner what they need, you need to be able to love yourself…you can’t give to others what you haven’t learned to give yourself.

When you learn to love yourself, you are in a place where you can view your relationship as a place to give, and you are able to give unconditionally rather than always focusing on what you are getting.

When both partners show up in the relationship in this way, your relationship is on the way to being an extraordinary one!

How do you want your life to look next year, 5 years from now, 10 years from now?

Whether your life right now is exactly where you want it to be or not, having a clear picture of where you want to be is important!

When you can spend time imagining and dreaming of what you desire for your future, you can begin to experience some of the emotions you want to feel that are associated with that outcome.  As you immerse yourself in your vision, you begin to live in this space of already having it… your brain gets used to this idea and the more it becomes a reality in your body.   And the more positive your emotional state.

Remind yourself of why you want this for yourself, how it will change your life and make you happy.  When you are clear about what you want and why you want it, it is easier to take action towards achieving your goal.

Dream it, feel it, live it, take action!

What question do you ask yourself, consciously or subconsciously?

What do I mean?  You may not even be aware but at some level there is an underlying question you are continuously asking and searching for answers to.

Whatever it is, you will look for and find answers to it, in everything that happens in your life.

For example, if your question is why do my relationships never work out for me, then you will focus on what is wrong in your relationship or why you are not deserving of a great relationship.

If your question is why don’t I deserve love, then you will apply that meaning to events that happen in your life…for instance, when someone doesn’t call or cancels plans, you will apply the meaning to it that they don’t love you.  You will continue to look for things in your romantic relationship, in your family relationships, and in your friendships that prove this unworthiness you feel.

What you focus on determines the lens with which you view the world and your life.

You have the power to change this, and it starts with your awareness.

If you want to make a habit of focusing on positive things in your life, what is going well, what you appreciate, what you’re grateful for…look deeper to determine your underlying question, and if it’s not what you want and desire, change it to something positive!  “Why is life so beautiful?”  “Why is love so powerful in my life?”

If you want to make 2021 the year you create tremendous growth and attract joy and love and happiness in your relationship and in your life, begin by changing the question that is in your subconscious and affecting how you perceive every situation…create a new positive question for yourself to start the New Year, I know you can do it!    Feel free to share below… what is your question and what will be your new one.

Make this new year the one where all the relationships in your life are beautiful.  One more chance to sign up for my coaching specials:

💫When you purchase a 6 month coaching package, I will give anyone you choose one month of free coaching (that’s 4 free sessions for a special family member or friend!)

💫 I will give you one month of free coaching (that’s 4 free coaching sessions for YOU) for each person you refer that purchases a 6 month coaching package

These specials won’t last long!  Good through midnight eastern time on December 31.