Debbie Gail Zane

Have you ever wondered why your moods can change so quickly? Maybe you wake up in the morning on the weekend feeling happy…you got a good night’s sleep and are feeling refreshed and energetic and looking forward to doing some activities you love. As you sip on your favorite coffee and enjoy a croissant, all of a sudden you start to feel sad. Before long, the sadness turns to gloom and despair, and you no longer continue with your plans for the day as you are feeling overwhelmed by the flood of negative emotions.

If you find your moods are often changing quickly, it’s time to look deeper within yourself…what thoughts are you telling yourself? You see, your thoughts are very powerful. They can change very quickly and they directly affect your emotions. Some thoughts may not even be accurate or rational. You may not even be consciously aware of some of them. But they are there, affecting your emotions and if you are not aware of what is happening they can really bring down your vibration.

Perhaps you had a great first date two nights ago and you have another first date tonight you are excited about and then all of a sudden you start to feel sad. You dig deeper and you realize that you were thinking about why you have not heard from the man you had the date with two nights ago. You started thinking “there must be something wrong with me” “I am not good enough” “I don’t deserve to find love” “there is no point going on my date tonight because he won’t call again either”. Can you see why you are now feeling sad?

You have the power to change your thoughts. What if you instead think “not every man I meet will be for me and that’s okay” “I am still amazing and worthy of love” “the right man will call me for a second date”. How do these thoughts make you feel? Happier and more hopeful, right?

Maybe you didn’t get the job you interviewed for and your sadness over this seems to last for days. When you dig deeper you realize you feel sad because you are telling yourself “I am not good enough to have this in my life” “no one will ever hire me so it is pointless to go on anymore interviews”. What if you change your thought to “going on these interviews is such great practice and I will find the right job for me, I know this is coming for me”. Does this thought make you feel happier and able to move forward in a higher vibration?

You can always choose a better feeling thought. But first you must become aware of the thoughts that are bringing down your vibration. The first step is to notice when your emotions suddenly shift and then ask what are the thoughts you are having? Second, flip each negative thought to it’s opposite and create some positive affirmations around it, as in the examples above. Third, write down these new positive affirmations in a journal so you can refer back to them if these negative inner voices return.

Choosing a better feeling thought is so powerful because it is often not the event itself, but your thoughts about it, that are responsible for your emotions. Of course you don’t have the power to change people, situations, events, etc., but you DO have the power to change your thoughts.

Why does your vibration matter so much? Because the level at which you are vibrating attracts your experiences in your life. When you are focusing on what is positive about yourself and your life, you are vibrating at a higher level and will attract more positive experiences…what you focus on grows. If you focus on what is negative and what is not working, this is what you will attract more of. So shift your focus… and choose your thoughts from a place of love, hope and positivity over fear, despair and negativity. If you make a habit of doing this every day, your vibe will increase and you will attract more happiness in your life.

What if you could step into your worthiness, connect with your inner goddess and manifest more love and happiness in your life?  How would you feel?  Blissful, joyful, safe, secure, amazing?  Download my fee guide now!

Do you find yourself judging others? If so this may be a clue that the person you are really judging is yourself. Why? Because when you can’t accept something about yourself, you can’t accept that in another person.

Does this sound familiar? You have been dating a man who is making you feel wonderful. He calls every day and he takes you out and wants to make you happy. He makes you feel cherished, loved, and adored. Then all of a sudden you start to find things wrong with him. You begin to criticize and judge him for not keeping his house as clean as you would like, for not being as organized as you would like, for sometimes forgetting small things, for not doing his dishes as soon as dinner is over. You start to wonder whether he really is the right man for you or whether you should reject him. Sound familiar? If it does, it’s time to look deeper within yourself…where are you judging yourself? Are you afraid to get closer because you don’t want him to see these parts of you that you are judging?

Where does self judgment come from? It comes from a place that is the opposite of self love and self acceptance. How often do you say “of course I love myself”, but then criticize yourself harshly for something you said or did or how you look? How often are you hard on yourself when you think you made a mistake? You may think you are loving yourself because you sometimes feel great about yourself. But truly loving yourself means being kinder and non-judgmental of all of you, not just the parts you feel are positive. The parts you are judging you are rejecting and not loving. You end up judging others for these same things.

How does self judgment show up in our lives? Are you doing any of these behaviors…

-you fear getting close to someone because you don’t want them to see the part of you that you don’t accept so you keep them at a distance

-you shut down because you never feel safe with others as you fear being rejected

-you look for ways to judge others so you don’t have to face your fears of getting close to them

-you find small ways to reject others before they reject you

-you push people away and that way you can prove to yourself that what you don’t love about you is true

-you are critical and judgemental of others

Self judgement prevents you from being able to get close to another person because self judgment and vulnerability do not exist very well together. And, if you can’t share yourself and be vulnerable with someone else, a relationship cannot grow deeper. Without truly loving and accepting all of you, it is hard to feel completely safe within yourself. When you don’t feel safe within you, you don’t feel safe to share yourself with someone else and you don’t create a safe space for another person to share themselves with you. The safety must begin from within you. When you honor yourself and don’t reject parts of you, you can feel safe. Because even if someone else rejects you, you still have yourself.

So, next time you find yourself judging another person…

1. Look deeper within yourself…what part of yourself are you rejecting?
2. Journal about why you believe you are rejecting or judging this part of you…where did this come from?
3. Ask, does it serve you to continue to judge yourself in this way? If not, give this part of yourself extra love and realize it is part of you, part of your uniqueness. Pour love over this part of yourself…imagine a stream of water and that water is love and the supply is endless and limitless and standing in that stream and allowing the water to soothe the part of you that you are rejecting and judging.

Once you can accept all of you, you allow others to as well, as they mirror back your energy.

What if you could step into your worthiness, connect with your inner goddess and manifest more love and happiness in your life?  How would you feel?  Blissful, joyful, safe, secure, amazing?  Download my fee guide now!