Debbie Gail Zane

If you’re feeling helpless because you don’t know how to help your son or daughter who has mental illness or addiction, I understand this can make you feel down or frustrated.

You want to help and you’ve tried a number of things but nothing seems to work.

I hear you!

Nothing seems to work because you are taking it upon yourself to fix or cure their illness, and that is not something you have the power to do.

So the more you focus on what didn’t work, the more you will become exhausted and frustrated.

What I want you to remember is that you are their biggest advocate and support so this is where you can use your energy if you want to help them.

Let them know how much you love them and that you are here for them…to listen, to care, to support.

Look into what resources may be available in your area that could help them and share this knowledge with them.

Sending love and light,

Debbie

You may have a pattern for how you relate to your teen or adult child.

A pattern may be triggered based on certain things your child does or says.

That pattern may become a habit, coming out subconsciously without you even thinking about it.

This pattern may shape the relationship and communication with your child.

If your communication or relationship with your child is not what you want it to be, you can start by looking at any patterns you have and how they are triggered.

Because the same patterns will continue until you consciously change them.

Are they positive, reflecting love and compassion? Are they based on fear, resulting in anger and frustration?

For example, maybe when your young adult comes home very late, you feel fearful that this means they were using drugs so you greet them with anger and frustration when they arrive.

What patterns, positive or negative, do you have that impact your relationship with your child?

Sending love and light,

Debbie

Do you find that your teen or adult child ignores you when you try to communicate, tuning you out or not fully listening and just nodding?

The thing is, communication cannot just be about the problems or issues.

It cannot just be about their illness, medications, doctors, or addiction.

When every interaction is about taking their medications, their illness, or the path you think they need to be on, they will start to associate stress with communication, and you don’t want that to happen.

Spend time nurturing your relationship by doing something enjoyable and talking about positive things.

For example, what are they interested in? Can you talk about their favorite hobby or book? Can you spend time taking a walk, going to lunch or a movie or a sporting event, doing something light and fun together where you don’t mention anything related to their illness.

I would love to hear what things you can introduce into your conversations and interactions with your child.

Sending love and light,

Debbie