Debbie Gail Zane

Trying to control your man doesn’t work, and in fact will kill his attraction for you.

A masculine energy man wants to be in control of himself…his plans, his environment, his decisions.

Controlling is masculine energy and when you try to control what your man does, his decisions, his care, his choices, etc, you are in your masculine energy and two people in their masculine energy will repel each other.

It’s like a couple dancing with two leaders…you end up stepping on each other’s toes.

Attraction in a romantic relationship is based on polarity of energies….one masculine energy partner and one feminine energy partner.

And it does not feel good for a masculine energy man to feel controlled. He will feel you don’t trust him to lead…in his life and in the relationship. He will feel you don’t trust him to make decisions.

And you don’t really have control of another person…it is only an illusion of control.

What can you do when you feel the urge to control him or the relationship?

Look within you…control comes from a place of fear. And a lack of trust.

 Visualize a positive outcome

 Visualize yourself letting go of him and putting the focus on you…really feel the energy shifting from him to you

 Trust in his ability to take care of himself and lead the relationship

 Trust that the universe has your back

 Trust you will be okay no matter what happens because you always have you and you have a strong love and connection to you

 Trust you are loved

 Trust what IS there

Reach out to me to learn about how to transform your fear into courage and trust and really let go of control and live in a trusting energy. My clients are finally able to relax in their relationship…to connect with the love for themselves and step into their worthiness…to let go of control and be present and feel the joy and love from their man.

I have always been someone who believed in the good in every person. Believed that everyone has positive intentions. Believed that everyone operated from a place of love.

While I still believe that this is mostly true, what happens when there is someone who was once in your life who is operating not from a place of love?

There will always be people in life who live in a negative energy. But you have a choice of whether or not to allow their actions to affect your own energy.

And while most people have good intentions and don’t intend harm, if there is someone who doesn’t have pure intentions you still have a choice.

It is your choice what you focus on in your life. Your thoughts can bring you joy and happiness or they can bring you sadness or stress.

When you allow another person’s behavior to bring you down, you give them power over you. Power over your thoughts. Power over emotions. And since your emotions and thoughts attract your experiences, you give them power over your experiences.

Finding a way to feel good is your work.

You can choose to think about anything and feel good, and let it in.

You don’t have to allow someone into your heart space that you don’t want to be there.

And you can always focus on your gratitude…appreciating the good and beautiful things in your life and the wonderful and loving and caring people in your life who are dear to you.

You can choose to live from a space of gratitude and love.

Did you know?  Your fears and your limiting beliefs can actually feel comfortable.

Giving you a false sense of safety.

Making it harder to let them go without feeling a sense of discomfort and even an emptiness in the space they were taking up.

This is why many we revert back to our fears and limiting beliefs.

Especially during times of stress.

They key is to replace these patterns that are holding you back with new patterns.

When something chronic is replaying, ask yourself the following:

• Am I attached to my criticism?

• Am I holding on to a past criticism?

• Is there a fear inside me to see my needs are met?

• Do I have a belief things should be a certain way?

• Is this belief mine or someone else’s?

• What if I actually believe that I am worthy and lovable and that I am loved?

When we have had a pattern or problem for a long time, we may have become attached to it.

How can you redefine it as positive…creating a positive goal out of a negative pattern…something you can communicate to yourself in an affirmative way?

It can feel hard to let go of our beliefs and criticism of ourselves that we have held onto for a long time.