Debbie Gail Zane

This holiday season remember to take some time for you.

Focus on what you need to feel good.

It’s easy to get focused so much on everyone else that you neglect yourself.

This can look like not doing your daily routine of journaling or visualizations or affirmations. Or not getting enough sleep. Or trying to get everything done yourself so that you feel overwhelmed.

Maybe you are worrying about what last minute gifts and food to get to make others happy. Or worrying about baking more holiday cookies or cleaning the house before relatives arrive.

With myself, when I don’t focus on me, when I don’t do my journaling and visualizations and affirmations….When I don’t ask for help and I try to do everything myself…. I start feeling sad, tired, less joyful.

When you truly want to feel joy and happiness, it is important to focus on what is really important to you. Connect with your deeper purpose and who you really are.

Align yourself with the joy you want to feel by thinking thoughts that feel good, speaking words that invoke positive thoughts and feelings within yourself, and taking inspired action to bring about that joy.

So take some time for you. Take a few minutes out of your busy day to do a meditation or read a book or listen to music. Do something that makes YOU feel good.

You always have a choice.

If you want a copy of my recorded webinar, Holidays Feeling Hard, to help you this holiday season, send me a message.

Why is doing the inner work so important?

When you can’t tell the difference between your triggered feelings based on your past and your feelings based on the present moment, you may respond or react in an exaggerated way. When your own limiting beliefs and nasty voices cause you to feel negative, you may lash out.

You may blame, get angry and make your man responsible for your feelings rather than own them.

Owning your feelings, taking responsibility for your thoughts and triggers takes inner work.

The first step is becoming aware. Awareness of when you are triggered based on your past. Awareness of when your nasty voices are causing you to feel awful. Awareness of key decisions made long ago that are operating at a subconscious level.

Inner work also involves learning how to meet your own needs and make yourself happy. Discovering what you can do to meet these needs on a daily basis rather than expecting your partner to meet all your needs will free him from having huge expectations placed on him. You will not feel the need to control him and the relationship in order to get your needs met. The relationship energy will feel lighter when you are not in the energy of expectation and control.

When women skip the inner work and just want a quick fix in their relationship, I see one or more of these things happening-
 the same problems continue to resurface
 when the man gets stressed or focused on something else in his life, she spends all her time and energy chasing after him in order to get all of her needs met because she doesn’t know how to meet her own needs
 she has a hard time sharing her feelings without blame, control and expectation
 she is spending all of her time focusing on him and the relationship and neglecting her own needs

If you are ready to step into your worthiness, connect with your inner goddess and manifest more love and happiness in your life, download my free seven step guide now!  https://debbiegailcoaching.com/home-copy/