Debbie Gail Zane

Are you tired of attracting people and relationships that aren’t right for you? Wondering if there is anything you can do to change this? The answer is YES!

Now is the time to create the relationship with yourself that you have always dreamed of having in your life. Why?

Because how you treat yourself, how you show up in the world, how you value yourself…all affect the people and experiences you attract into your life.

And if you are not being your authentic self and living your truth (because you don’t really know who that is or because you aren’t connected with who that is or because of fear) you will not attract the partner who is right for you. You will attract someone who is attracted to who you are showing up as, not to who you really are.

If you find you attract people who don’t respect you and don’t make you a priority, where are you not respecting yourself and making yourself a priority? Are you honoring your time and your boundaries, and appreciating yourself and your accomplishments?

Do you take the time to rest when you’re exhausted or do you run around doing everything for everyone and putting yourself last? If you do a good job on a presentation do you downplay it or do you celebrate yourself and your talents? Do you frequently say yes to people when you really want to say no?

When you don’t take care of you or honor you, you are showing up as someone who doesn’t value yourself or your needs and this is who you will attract.

If you are attracting people who don’t truly love you or want to spend time with you or give you attention, look within you. Are you not loving you? Are you not feeling worthy of love? Are you not opening your heart to love? Are you spending time with yourself?

When you feel sad, allow yourself to feel your feelings and love all your feelings. Catch yourself when you are shutting down when you get close to someone and your fear of being hurt kicks in and give yourself extra love. Start figuring out what you can do to make yourself feel good. To love yourself fully. Take yourself out on special dates. Spend time meditating or doing yoga. Go within you, connect with yourself, and give yourself what feels good for you.

Do you attract people who only take from you? Including taking your positive high vibe energy by draining it?

If you want a partner who is giving, you need to be giving to yourself and be open to receiving. This can be giving of love, affection, time, gifts…where are you withholding giving to yourself? Maybe you’re exhausted from running around giving to others. Where can you give more to you? Where can you invest in your well-being? If you want a partner who doesn’t drain your energy, you have to be able to stay in your own good energy. Not allow others’ moods and actions to dictate your energy. Keep your thoughts aligned with your own desires, not aligned with someone else’s moods and behavior.

Do you attract people who aren’t truthful with you? Where are you not being completely honest with yourself or him? Are you suppressing your real emotions? Not sharing your true feelings? Not speaking up?

You can’t change others or make them be the way you want them to be. But you can be the woman you’ve always wanted to be and embody the qualities you want to attract.

If you are having difficulty trusting others or your relationship, look deeper within yourself.

When you don’t feel that you deserve joy and happiness and love in your life, you begin to doubt it is possible. You begin to question the motives of everyone. You begin to look for evidence of what isn’t working out for you so you can prove yourself right. As you doubt your potential for attracting positive experiences and as you find evidence of what is going wrong, you focus your attention on these things and are not able to trust.

When you don’t feel confident of your ability to show up and be there for yourself, that you have your own back, you are not trusting yourself. When you don’t trust you, it’s even harder to trust others. Because you feel that deep down, if something happened to make you feel sad, hurt, or upset, you can’t be there for you and that no one else will either.

When you don’t love yourself on a deep soul level, you will have a hard time trusting that anyone else will love you too. No matter what they say and do, you aren’t truly able to receive their love because you don’t have a strong love and connection with you. So you will always doubt their love, since you doubt your own love for yourself.

When you don’t believe in your ability to make good decisions and connect with your intuition, you will stop trusting yourself because you are fearful of making a mistake or of choosing the wrong man or relationship.  This disbelief in you will cause you to have disbelief in others.

When you feel fearful because of past hurts that you are still holding onto, you will have a hard time trusting. You will subconsciously assume that the situation that caused you hurt in the past will repeat itself. In order to truly be open to love you have to fully live in the present and let go of the past hurt so it doesn’t control you today.

Because the people you attract will mirror your energy, when you are in a relationship and are not trusting you, him, the relationship…this is what he will mirror back. You feel uncertain and untrusting, so will he. The more uncertain he is, the more fear you may feel, and your fear of his uncertainty will cause you to continue to trust even less.

You have the power to break this cycle now. It doesn’t start by trusting him and the relationship, it starts by trusting you. By doing the inner work so you can embody worthiness, confidence, self love and let go of past hurt, you have the best chance for creating the beautiful relationship you desire and fully deserve!

If you want support on your journey, I can help and have some private coaching spots still available. I work with with women every day to create a deep soul love with themselves and step into their true worthiness and attract more love in their lives.