Debbie Gail Zane

We expect honesty from others, but are we being completely honest with ourselves?

We see the world through our own lens.  And our ability to see the truth can be clouded by how we want something to be.

What do I mean?

For example … are you being honest with yourself about your feelings, expectations and desires?

I have recently observed where a woman began dating a man and after a few dates he told her he doesn’t have romantic feelings for her and sees her as a friend.  Instead of moving on in her dating…she was looking for her forever relationship…she continued to spend more and more time with him.   As she cooked for him and took care of his dog, she told herself the connection was growing.

Then several months later, when he met someone he wanted to focus on romantically, she was surprised and upset.

He had been upfront and honest with her all along.  But she wasn’t being honest with herself.  She wasn’t being honest about her feelings for him, about her motivation for cooking for him and caring for his dog, about her expectations of a future together.

In order to be honest with others we have to be honest with ourselves.

In order to be truly open to attracting and creating the relationship we desire, we have to be truthful.   We cannot move on from a relationship that isn’t right for us or let go of a past hurt or injustice or forgive ourselves for something we did…unless we are completely honest with ourselves.

When we can be honest, we can truly love ourselves because we are not denying a part of us.  We are truly allowing.  Allowing and accepting whatever it is that is happening, has happened…and letting it go in order to allow into our lives and hearts that which we truly desire.

Until we can be completely honest we cannot be truly happy and truly loving to ourselves.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Tomorrow is a day you can make special for yourself by setting the intention to meet your own need for love.

So many times we are seeking love outside ourselves…from our date, partner, boyfriend, spouse…anyone except for where the love is that we need to seek, discovery and get to know…within us.  Yes, the love we need is inside ourselves.  So looking elsewhere we will never be fully satisfied.

How can you seek the love within you?

Start with your own awareness.  Become aware of when you are having thoughts that do not align with loving yourself.

No one does an emotion to us, we have choices of how we deal with the words, experiences and actions of others which affect us.  We all have different lives which has resulted in a certain relationship to pain and emotions which hurt us.  And while we cannot change our past, we can work with our reaction to current situations which set off our negative emotions and hurtful or sad memories.

Remember- you create your emotions, you choose how you feel in reference to others actions.

You were born with self love.  It is within you.  But over time you learned to practice behaviors and thoughts in response to other’s actions where you began putting yourself down with your own thoughts, words, actions.  You learned to practice these behaviors that didn’t align with your loving yourself.  Until that self love was so buried.

Naturally you looked outside yourself to fulfill this need.  Because you didn’t believe it was within you.

Start looking within yourself for the love you seek.  The need for love and connection is one of the six important human needs we have.  And when it is not being met, we miss out on something so vital.

How can you meet this need for love and connection for yourself?

Maybe you have a belief that is limiting your ability to access the love within you or you are holding onto your criticism of yourself?

This Valentines Day, set the commitment to love you.  To seek the love you need from within yourself.  To re develop the loving relationship with yourself that you were born with.  To start practicing behaviors and thoughts that align with and affirm that love.

I really want every one of you to have this amazing strong love for yourself!  When you can have this, you will go out into the world in a whole different energy!  You will not be seeking something from others that you are the one who can fulfill.  You will be complete and your love and joy will come through in your energy.  And the people you attract and experiences you attract and relationships you attract will match your own vibration in which you show up in the world.

I’m so excited for you to have this energy of love for yourself!  This week I am offering 25% off all coaching and programs.  Reach out to me for a free 20 minute clarity call.