Debbie Gail Zane

I had such an amazing time visiting my very good friend Navi and attending the Toronto Film Festival with her!  It was so much fun to see so many movie premieres.

Movies we saw – True History of the Kelly Gang, Lucy in the Sky, American Woman, Clemency, Marriage Story, Endings and Beginnings

I feel very grateful to have such wonderful people in my life and Navi is one of them. As a coach, I know that appreciating what IS good and accepting all parts of my life has been key to experiencing more joy.

Every person and every experience is part of my journey and is a part of my life for a reason.

What do you need to feel emotionally safe in a relationship and why is this important?

In order to grow closer to another person, you need to be able to open your heart.  And in order to open your heart you need to feel safe.

Different people may need different things to feel safe.  For example, you may feel safe when you share about a bad day at work and your partner listens without judgment.  Or when you share your biggest fear and your partner gives you a big hug.

When you and your partner can respect and honor each other’s feelings and emotions and can listen and hear each other without judgment, this can foster emotional safety for both of you.

Of course, to gain emotional safety you have to be willing to take risks with your emotions, to open your heart, to be vulnerable, to be and share who you truly are.

When you hide behind a mask of who you believe your partner wants you to be, you will prevent emotional safety.  This is because when you aren’t showing up as your true self…you are not being authentic or vulnerable.  You are pretending, even if you are not aware of this on a conscience level.

When you are hiding something (or even hiding or burying your emotions), on a conscious or subconscious level, you will not feel safe with that person.  You will not grow closer to them.  They will not grow closer to you because they will feel this inauthentic energy and it will prevent them from feeling safe and being vulnerable.

For example, when you feel sad do you pretend to feel happy just to make yourself look like you have it all together?  Do you pretend you are okay with something when you’re not really?

Truly accepting and loving yourself…all of you and all of your emotions… is key to being able to show up as who you really are and share this with others.  While your fear that someone else may reject you may still be there, deep down you are not rejecting yourself so you trust in you and you trust in your ability to show up for yourself.  So your fear doesn’t prevent you from developing deeper love and connection with your partner.

I would love to work with you on feeling more love and connection with yourself and in your relationship.  I have some spots left for private one on one coaching, and I am very excited to begin offering group coaching in October!  Reach out to me for a free 20 minute clarity call if you are interested.

Emotional safety Have a friend who may be interested?  From now through August 31, if you refer a friend and she signs up for a private or group coaching package, you each receive one bonus private coaching session!