Debbie Gail Zane

Gratitude and appreciation are very powerful.  Allowing yourself to focus on something in your life you can be grateful for has the ability to transform your overall vibration almost instantaneously.

If you focus on a problem or a negative thought or anything that you think is not working out for you, you are likely to feel sad, angry, discouraged…and overall disconnected from gratitude and appreciation.  Over time this disconnectIon may even prevent you from positive experiences happening.

But what if you made a habit of focusing your attention on something you can appreciate, no matter how small or big?  For example, what if you woke up and instead of thinking about the co-worker who seems to always disagree with you, you thought about how much you appreciate the wonderful friendships you have in your life?

You always have a choice of where to focus your attention.  In your relationship, do you want to focus on your partner having to work late often lately or do you want to focus on how much you appreciate his kindness, caring and loving attention?

Connecting with something you appreciate and allowing yourself to really feel that appreciation and live in that space of gratitude is one of the things you can do in order to feel more happiness in your life.

If this feels hard, maybe you are too close to the problem.  Take a step back from your life…how many people are also struggling with this particular problem or even something worse.

How many things can you find in your life that you can appreciate and be grateful for?  If you need help, reach out to me for a free 30 minute clarity session.

Do you spend time focusing on what is not going the way you hoped, what you feel your partner is not doing for you, what you wish your partner would do differently?

Are you spending your time and energy on these thoughts, rather than on thoughts of appreciation for what your partner does, who your partner is as a person, positive things about your relationship, happy shared experiences and memories?

If you answered yes to these questions, consider the impact on your relationship.

When you are focusing on what is missing rather than what is there to be cherished, you miss out on the positive feelings in your relationship.  You miss savoring the joyful moments, the passionate moments, the loving moments.

You may even begin to withdraw emotionally and even close part of your heart.

What if you committed to a deep knowing that your partner has positive intentions rather than judging or blaming?  To appreciating the beautiful shared experiences?  To feeling gratitude for your relationship?

How would this change your daily emotional state and your interactions with your partner?

Your relationship is something to cherish.  You have a choice as to how much time and energy you want to devote to what is good and happy.  Your emotional connection with your partner and your daily emotional state is directly tied to this energy.

Do you believe things happen for a reason and unfold the way they are supposed to?  When you can trust in this you are less likely to try to resist what is happening.

Even when life brings challenges, resisting them is not helpful or a good use of your energy.  Why?  Because the reality is that the situation or event has happened or is happening.  That is reality.  You can’t make reality different than it is.

Resisting what is, focuses your attention on what you don’t want and interferes with your ability to be present.

You can not be open to receiving all the good things life has in store for you if you are so busy resisting what is happening.

And when you are not present you are not truly living your life and it is hard to experience happiness and joy.

Instead of wasting your energy on something you can’t control (resisting reality), why not focus on accepting, allowing, experiencing.  Doing this allows you to save your energy for living your life and being open to allowing positive experiences to happen for you.

Resisting is closed energy.  Allowing is open energy.

Whether you choose to believe things happen for a reason (even if when they happen you may not know the reason)…how does it help to spend your energy trying to change, control, analyze, resist what is actually happening?

Next time you find yourself trying to fight reality, become curious instead…What can I learn?  How can I grow from my experience?  How can I be more present in this experience and in my life?