Debbie Gail Zane

What happened on 9/11 twenty years ago today is truly heartbreaking.  So many lives lost after starting their day as they normally would.  So many families couldn’t even say goodbye to their partner, parent, child, friend.

Life is precious and so are our loved ones.

It is not worth it to harbor anger and resentment or to get upset and withhold our love and compassion

Every day is a new day to share our love.  To show our loved ones how much we appreciate them.  To feel gratitude for those who are dear to us.

Who can you let know how much you love them and how much you appreciate their presence in their lives?  Don’t wait, go tell them.

Next time you are rushing around, slow down, feel gratitude, enjoy the moment.

Next time you want to snap at someone, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this is important.

Slow down.  Enjoy the moment.  Love with all your heart 

Do you absorb other peoples’ energy?

For example, you wake up in the morning feeling happy and excited to start your day.  Then you realize your partner is upset about his day, his work, his stresses and is in a negative mood all day.  What happens to your energy?

If you answered that it goes down, you are not alone.  It can be difficult to stay in our own good energy when someone very close to us is struggling, upset, depressed, angry, etc.

When you do this though, you allow someone else to have control of your energy and mood.

And since now you are both in a low energy, it tends to last longer.

What can you do?

It is natural to want to support and give compassionate understanding when your partner is going through a difficult time.  You can do this and still stay in a positive high energy.  In fact this is not only good for you, but good for him and the relationship.

Why?

He knows he is not feeling great and is suffering but he would not want to cause you pain too.  He doesn’t want to feel like he is responsible for your low energy.

And when you can hold on to this high energy, it is contagious.  So staying in a high vibration can ultimately help pull him out of a slump.

How can you do this?

Take a deep breath and visualize yourself in a great big bubble.  Visualize this bubble with a shimmering magical quality letting only the good in and out.  Feel yourself surrounded by good energy and allow yourself to feel safe and secure.

From this space, give compassion and love to your partner and support him in his struggle.  And from this space, give compassion and love to yourself throughout your day.

Would love to hear how this works for you

Have you ever really wanted something but either you didn’t stay motivated to do the steps to make it possible or you took some steps but then sabotaged it?

For example, you really want a loving relationship but you find yourself stuck and not doing the things to bring you closer to a loving relationship…

-you procrastinate setting up an online dating profile

-you set up a profile but are inconsistent in responding to people on the dating site

-you find excuses to not schedule dates

-you go on many dates but find reasons to reject everyone

-you cancel plans to attend singles events

-you get into a relationship and sabotage it by finding fault with everything he does

Most likely what is happening when you don’t follow through with what is needed to reach your goal or you sabotage it once you do reach it, is that you have a conflict inside of you.  And you may be subconsciously attaching more pain than pleasure to having what you want.

You may not even be aware of this inner conflict or that you are attaching more pain than pleasure.  It may stem from a past hurt, sadness, trauma and you are linking that same pain to having this in your life.

Some examples are: You want a great relationship but you feel you don’t deserve one or that you are not worthy of love.  You associate being in a relationship with pain rather than pleasure…stress, anxiety, hurt, sadness, disappointment… especially if this is how you felt in a past relationship.

What can you do?

First, become aware of any inner conflicts and any associations of pain to what you desire.

Second, write down why you want this.  Get super clear on your WHY and journal about how having this will enhance your life and give you massive amounts of pleasure.  This is your biggest motivator for taking action to achieve what you want.  Until you are very clear on why having this will bring you an abundance of pleasure, your inner conflict will continue.

Third, visualize yourself achieving your goal and experiencing the massive amounts of pleasure.  How do you feel?  What does your life look like now with this?  See yourself in it and feel it.

Once you recognize your pattern, get clear on your WHY, and see and feel yourself living in the massive amounts of pleasure, you are ready to achieve anything you desire.