If you have a teen or adult child with mental illness or addiction and you are struggling with feelings of guilt, self-blame or self-doubt, you may be making one of these mistakes-
Taking things personally. When things are not going well with your child, do you blame yourself and make everything that is happening about you? Not taking things personally helped me emotionally and in my relationship with my oldest son. His actions and choices were not about me. Even when he lashed out at me, it was not about me.  He was dealing with his own feelings of anger about his illness and he lashed out at me because I was the safe person who he knew would love and accept him unconditionally.  And his internal mental state played a role in his behavior.  He didn’t want his illness just like I didn’t want it for him. Understanding this meant I didn’t need to get defensive, blame myself, or make things about me.
Not accepting your limitations of not being able to fix your child’s illness. As a parent, I had seen myself as being responsible for his behaviors, his choices, and his decisions. I believed it was up to me to fix things. This led to becoming frustrated with myself and more self-blame.  Instead, I learned to practice self-compassion—being gentle, kind, and patient with myself. Realizing my limitations was a key step for me and allowed me to be more compassionate with myself. I didn’t need to feel guilty or feel that I failed as a parent.
Are you struggling with the challenges of having a son or daughter with mental illness or addiction?  I have developed a unique process which provides holistic tools and strategies for navigating grief, loss, pain, hopelessness, overwhelm, and fear that can result from this experience.  In my coaching program I walk with you on your journey, helping you regain your natural emotional resilience and self love and find peace and purpose in your life.  To find out more, the link is in the comments.
Sending love and light,
Debbie