Thanksgiving is right around the corner.
Whether you are grieving the loss of your child or grieving due to having a child with mental illness and/or addiction, this can be a difficult time filled with pain, sadness, unpredictability, stress, uncertainty.
How can you get through this day, dedicated to gratitude and thanks, when you are grieving and in pain? Here are some things I have found helpful for me-
Carve out time for you
Take some time for you and take some time for your grief first. Maybe that is doing something that feels soothing for your pain. Maybe that is simply allowing your feelings and giving them space. Or even journaling because writing through grief and loss can be therapeutic.
When you have other children you will spend time with on Thanksgiving, taking this time for your own grief first is so important and will allow you to be there for them.
Meaning and purpose
If you have lost a child, doing something meaningful or that honors your child. You could visit their gravesite or talk out loud to them, go to a place they loved, do an activity they enjoyed doing, write a letter to your child, make their favorite dish, share about a memory.
If your child has mental illness or addiction, holding the space for your child. Seeing them as a whole person, not just their illness or addiction, and connecting with their soul, who they truly are. It may help to write them a letter, even if you don’t give the letter to them.
Give yourself permission to boycott the traditional celebration and do something unrelated to Thanksgiving, especially if you are in early grief.
My most difficult Thanksgiving holidays for me personally have been the ones since my oldest son passed away. This is the third Thanksgiving without him here physically. He is always with me though, in everything I do especially through my purpose work helping parents. I do things that feel good to me and are meaningful including visiting his gravesite and spending time talking to him, writing a letter to him, reading an excerpt from my book (the first year, I spent time working on writing the book), and sharing about a happy memory.
With the holiday season upon us, I created a special group program for December to help people grieving the loss of a child get through the most difficult time of year. At times like this it is especially important to be around people that understand where you are and will accept you without judgment and expectation. So I am running a grief group program to help others not have to do this alone and learn how it is possible to survive the pain and move forward without feeling like they are leaving their child behind. If you or someone you know is a bereaved parent, send me a message or comment below and I will send you information about the group.
Sending love and light,
Debbie
